I usually find the way social media memories pop up a piece of wonderful nostalgia, as it’s amazing how the energy from a previous year spirals around again. Though a few days ago one such memory stopped me in my tracks …

for through it I can still feel the restraint of not sharing something I wouldn’t usually hold back on.

I can feel my sadness, confusion, disbelief, even some bitterness starting to creep in from what had happened a few months earlier, that May in 2024.

I now know this was a betrayal and a pattern that has snaked its way through my life, where through some form of twisted loyalty and integrity I end up betraying myself

… rather than fully speaking out and exposing someone’s behaviour, because they have posed as a friend. Well not any more. Using anothers wounds against them in order to gain control and empower themselves is exploitation - and it is time that I complete the journey of taking my power back and use my voice.

In early 2024 I spent 3 months working with and tracking mainly the Rose Lineage, mainly through the NE of Scotland, including the various ancestral intersections especially, though not solely, the Witch wound - and some joined me in various places along that journey. This work then continued into France and Germany last summer. It was a continuation and completion of my 2022, as well as prior and continuing, grid work. This person visited me in Scotland for a few days on a personal tour that I created through my immersion in this work.

And then went on to take all credit for it … not once mentioning the context or content of the work I had done to enable this.

And so I have written little about the energetic Earth and grid work I was involved with last year. And part of the reason for this is because I started to pull back from this person, a well known spiritual leader with a large following, as I saw what they had done and had been doing - in effect I was in mourning. The more complex implications of someone doing this in relation to the work that is in essence for the restoration of the Divine Feminine, does not escape me either.

This practitioner had also invited me to take on more prominent role in their group due to the contribution I had been making behind the scenes, though this was never fully acknowledged beyond our conversations. I observed all the times they used my coding, my words, my turn of expression, tried to minimise me, ridicule me, laid claim to and attempted to take ownership of my soul aspects, work and mission … their hierarchical entitlement - yet all the while I was trying to justify their behaviour, because I understood their trauma and their potential. I considered us to be peers and friends, though she treated me more and more as a minion, never really reciprocating yet all the while using my knowledge and wisdom as if she was entitled to it - which is an abuse of power. It feels very black and white writing it all out like this!

As I connected with the person I was in early August 2024 I realised that I am not that person any more … far from it.

And I am so grateful for the lessons I have received that have transformed those past remnants of being a people pleaser, not holding strong enough boundaries.

And though I was confronting her she kept stonewalling me, or side-stepping the issues I brought to her attention. It saddens me that someone could manipulate a friendship for their own gain to that extent. Though I understand that this was a gradually descent, she underestimated me and though understood some of my trauma history and used this to manipulate and exploit me, had not understood where I was in that healing process because of where she was in her’s.

And so yes I had been shocked, hurt and triggered. I know enough by now to look within myself - and so I had started to pull back and observe myself, this person and our interactions. Then this person accused me of psychically attacking her and sending black magic to her after a visit to Egypt in December. And I know I did not. Those who know, know that Egypt is full of booby traps and tripwires - so only those who are entitled to, resonant and ready to access certain areas can.

I had my own work to do and records to retrieve, as I had been shown in a Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique session several years previously.

So I do not know the source of this persons experience, because I don’t know what she was really doing.

As one of my main gifts is to counter psychic attack and black magic, anyone who really knows me knows that to maintain the purity of my work I simply would never muddy those waters by doing such. And believe me I have been tempted - which is a test - especially where my family is concerned. As I work with the Karmic Board I’m well aware of what the payback would be and I am not here to accumulate more karma, I have spent decades trudging up this mountain and have earned every step - nothing is tempting enough to have to start from the bottom again.

I’d been pulling back from her energetically and denying her access to my fields, which she would have felt. Her main reason for accusing me was because ‘I didn’t get attacked’ while in or after Egypt. When I explained why this was the case, with over 3 decades of working on myself and a well regulated nervous system, she said I was gaslighting her.

Though it is possible that she also received kickback from trying to enter into my fields without permission and then played the victim.

And to be honest by then the end of this relationship was a huge relief. I really didn’t want to believe badly of, or to judge this person, so my discernment was clouded even as their behaviour became more conspicuous … I remember feeling the same disbelief about my mother … that someone would knowingly behave in such a way.

This is also a reflection of what happened on some Lemurian/Atlantean timelines, and even events prior to then. This infiltration and coercion through abuse of power was gradual, so it wasn’t seen straightaway … And though to an extent this dynamic has been supportive in helping us wake up to find the balance of true sovereign power -

there has been so much grief and need for forgiveness, not only for the other but for ourselves, for not seeing what once had such a catostrophic outcome.

It is also sad knowing that this lifetime is a chance for all of us to finally heal this …unfortunately some have become addicted to that abuse of power and fallen away from the original contracts and intention. Which I wrote about in Psychic Attack and Karma.

Over the past months my guides have shown me layer after layer of what was done in the dark. I simply wouldn’t have believed the extent of it then. That this was a deliberate, systematic and targeted syphoning that not only attempted stealing, but to also abuse my gifts by piggy-backing on them. And I have some responsibility for what has been done through my mis-placed trust, especially where that has affected others.

The irony is that here I am countering this work and teaching others to power up from within so their energy field becomes more resistant through healing and regulating their nervous systems …

Yet here I was, so close I couldn’t see it.

Though I could feel it, I didn’t want to believe it.

I often say that whatever happens spirit finds a way through … spirit finds a way to turn an experience into a beneficial one …

… and here I was engaging in the ultimate training of my life, without fully realising it!

And so this social media memory took me back to May 2024 - and an exploration of what has been a significant journey in understanding my worth and sovereign power far more deeply, while reconnecting with, seeing and witnessing that old part of myself, as I was then, which is a real gift.

So my guides took me through the process of working through the energy of that time, as a kind of shamanic soul retrieval process. I often use a herkimer diamond to clear this kind of cloudiness of sight and though a counter remedy is supportive, I needed something more to anchor this alchemy in deeply.

My guides told me that I needed to take some of the poison to clear the poison

- and reminded me, by showing me an image, of when I was in a ceremony receiving chilli in my eyes … this is for clear seeing and part of the training of a shamanic warrior to learn to keep your eyes open no matter what … I remember the clouds clearing and the veil dropping from my inner vision.

And so here is the alchemy of the poison … for cayenne pepper is a member of the poisonous nightshade family, and the poison is both the cure - and the clarifier. Deadly nightshade is also known as belladonna and the mythology around this plant is quite apt.

And within that alchemy is the knowing - and within the knowing is the alchemy …

Please Note: I do feel I need to say that I will not be administering chilli or cayenne pepper to my eyes and I certainly don’t recommend this outside of the appropriate ceremony. Though I have received chilli this way in ceremony, this time my guides took me through the process in other realms. I have started working with cayenne pepper in tincture form and homeopathic belladonna as per my guidance coupled with my long experience of working with herbal and homeopathic medicines.

With much love,
from my Heart to yours

Tania Aurora White Crow.

When the remedy is Cayenne Pepper …