Trusting Inconsistency

I’m in the process of creating a new website ( the one you’re on now: ‘The School of Earth’). I’ve outgrown my current one to such an extent it’s easier than redesigning it.

Part of the process with Nora Rose, of Nora Zinerman Studio, is using the Fascination profile. This is a great tool to discover how others perceive you and your work. My main profile hasn’t changed, I’m your Secret Weapon, which is a combination Mystique and Innovation. In other words you don’t realise just how cutting edge my work is or how weird I am until you tip a toe in the pool of my work

What has changed is the ‘dormant value’. Before it was Prestige, which is true I really don’t give a shit about it. But now it is Trust … now that was a surprise !

Trust here is about reliability and consistency - two traits that those close, and not so close, knew they could depend on. Often to my detriment. Though I have a stellium in Virgo and appreciate structure and am quite capable of creating one my self and have done countless times - I am also very fluid and would rather adapt to an existing structure and have someone else create it - Hello Website Designer !

During the years of raising children, being married, running various businesses ( because of it’s placement, that Virgo Stellium acts very like Gemini - until you piss me off ! ) - being consistent and reliable was who I was - my mind worked like a diary, shopping list, business planner and events co-ordinator, and not just for me, for my family ( and often friends too !) - I rarely needed to write anything down.

And it has taken me nearly a decade to dismantle that. After my separation and subsequent divorce I went very Piscean, diving into the deep expansiveness and breathed a sigh of relief of not having to hold those structures any longer. My mind or memory hasn’t worked the same since, I was able to hand it over and let God. Phew !

Yet that inner organiser continued to pop up in my work, with clients, mentees, friends and so on, it had been such a long and dear held value I had of myself - I was having to learn to strip away the layers of ego and get to the spiritual essence of who I was. Getting out of the routine and into the rhythm, was my mantra.

I had a vision of dismantling this old rusting scaffolding structure that rose so unnaturally out of the sea of my being and allow a coral reef to form, organically. My world is visible just below the surface, has huge variety and serves multiple species and beings. You are welcome to take a closer look !

So how can you trust me, when I am being inconsistent or unreliable ? I do my best to follow Spirit with every breath and every step … and you can trust me in that.

with much Love,
from my Heart, to yours,

~ Tania Aurora White Crow ~