The Unexpected Pilgrimage …
Creating Allyship - A Journey with Salmon.
When the realisation that control and free-will are the same, and both are an illusion, finally hits your core … dealing with self-created disappointment, before being able to see the incredulous synchronistic path being laid out … that that no human hand could arrange. Being open to magic, even when it’s challenging ... As I sat by the river telling my story, a huge salmon leapt out of the river. And so my relationship with Salmon has changed … Salmon has become an ally, framing perfectly these past years of that transition from perceived struggle to grace.
I found myself being called back to Peebles, quite a detour from my usual route South.
Last October I was heading home North from here, when the surreal took over and I had an experience of journeying through a time portal. The deeper message became a recognition of the subtle ways I tried to control my spiritual guidance. And how futile that is when faced with unexplainable Great Mystery. This was a revelation of how we truly have no control over our lives. Disillusionment. When the realisation that control and free-will are the same, and both are an illusion, finally hits your core.
Everything stopped. I realised that by second guessing spirit, making assumptions about the purpose of what I was doing and then having corresponding expectations - even as I stepped into what was requested - there I was dealing with self-created disappointment, before being able to see the incredulous synchronistic path being laid out before me, that that no human hand could arrange, and be in awe. A deeper knowing and trust that plans and intentions shift, what is needed doesn’t turn up in the expected packages, something always appears to enable a realignment - if only it is seen, listened to and offered gratitude - even when painful.
Living a life with spirit entails a constant stripping away of that which is not - in alignment with spirit. And my experience of what that means is constantly evolving as I drop evermore deeply into following my souls desire and purpose.
Being open to magic, even when it’s challenging, is an allowing of events to unfold as they will without human ego resistance.
For me this means constant recalibration, checking in with my integrity and authenticity of allowing the will of the divine to move through me.
As I surrender more and more control to spirit the awe and wonder at the magic that surrounds us all, becomes more palpable. Times of being in a place to bear witness to the unfolding of each moment are precious and treasured alchemy … these current travels are starting to show me this and so much more …
Beauty happens when this is allowed to sweep through and create the the changes needed, but didn’t expect to encounter. By surrendering to a wisdom far greater than us.
These days I often feel a sense of a huge spherical multi-dimensional jigsaw puzzle - that everything is being slowly maneovered into place - a little like those 70’s disco balls … At times I feel I can touch these multiple aspects around me. And pray that I can just allow myself to be part of this universal dynamic, be moved in this new dance, that we are all part of choreographing.
Returning to Peebles brings a sense of completion, the closing of a cycle, after a time of integrating seeing the world in a new way. I had expected to stay in Peebles for the night. Haha! Did you notice that expectation creeping in again?
After lunch my guidance was to head towards the coast. A journey onward into something new. About half way there I decided to stop and check Google maps to have an idea of where I was heading …
In the parking place, by a river there was this sign entitled “The Holy Grail’. Though it was about Salmon, for me there were multiple layers of meaning. I find I am heading towards Holy Isle. In Celtic traditions the Salmon lived in a sacred well and was a source of knowledge …
Nearly three years ago while preparing for a wilderness vision quest, as I entered into the earth lodge a ceramic salmon sat in front of me … I hadn’t known the salmon heritage of the place I was questing in. Afterwards, sat by the river telling my story, a huge salmon leapt out of the river as she was swimming upstream to spawn. And so my relationship with Salmon has changed from one that was such an intricate part of my marriage during years campaigning,
One that struggled against the flow of of what felt like collapsing river systems and loss of sacred symbolism - to one that has the grace to flow with the river of time and keep remembering not to hold on to the bank !
And so Salmon has become an ally, framing perfectly these past years of that transition from perceived struggle to grace. And this shift flows through my onward travels like a continual spiralling pattern of fractalisation starting to find cohesion and wholeness.
Later, as I arrive in France I find another intersecting pilgrimages of the route to Santiago de Compostela … though that may be part of another story … or another facet of the same one.
With much love,
from my Heart to yours
~ Tania Aurora White Crow ~