The Llama and the Sloth: The Medicine of Shadow
As we own more of our wholeness the agreements we have made with our integrated parts may no longer be valid and need renegotiation. Recently I have understood more deeply the importance of reviewing, recalibrating and bringing our inner diversity back into harmony.
Some time ago when I was working with my Inner Child, who wasn’t comfortable with asserting and getting her needs met, my Warrior self stepped in and offered to support, defend and protect her - which was exactly what she needed. But as the confidence of this Inner Child aspect grew she no longer needed to be nurtured this way … she wanted the freedom to express herself.
The Warrior represents my power and strength, whereas this aspect of my Inner Child is quiet, gentle and reflective. I have done much work with her over the years especially with reclaiming my voice … where the quiet, gentleness became so bullied it became a painful shyness and what felt like a choiceless silence.
A key moment, after years of working in so many ways with my voice and self-expression, was when I found the coiled power hidden within the withdrawal of my voice - here was where the key to my Warrior self was hidden!
I was in effect, and unconsciously, shielding others from my power! So what a curious juxtaposition that then my Warrior stepped in to shield my Inner Child!
When we look at it from the perspective of shadow work my Warrior had been in shadow and then over shadowed the innate gentleness of my Inner Child while she was finding a way to have a more boundaried presence.
I love that we can work with our shadows more consciously in this way … allow parts that need healing or recalibrating some rest and rejuvenation in the shadow … I hadn’t fully understood this before …
Harmonising our Inner diversity is like sitting in a circle with like minded souls who all bring different skills and ways of being, and the whole becomes greater than the parts.
When we bring something vulnerable to circle, hearts are gathered around us, cocooning us with time to understand and heal … and we do this within ourselves too …
My Inner Child was ready to emerge from behind the shield of the Warrior and was banging on it, but I hadn’t fully got the message … I’d been experiencing this as part of a clunkiness, which I referred to in my post Movement from Pearlescent to Opalescent.…. and I still couldn’t quite put my finger on it …
Then recently, on a four day training, I was connecting with these parts of myself when my working partner asked ‘who is the shadow?’… A great question that brought forth so much information in a moment. As we continued working these parts alchemised into a Llama ally!
This Llama ally was hilarious - telling me among other things that “I spit in the face of adversity!”.
The Llama embodies gentle strength and quiet power - qualities that often in our conditioned belief systems don’t combine. This quirky animal is an almost.unlikely inhabitant of the Peruvian Mountains, walking it’s own distinct path. And here was my solution, these qualities are both important aspects of me and my work.
I was so energised and inspired by integrating this new understanding, I started implementing the corresponding changes and my work started to weave together in ways I hadn’t foreseen…
And then I hit a block … after a few attempts, and caring for myself in the physical,
I tuned into the block and a little voice said ‘I feel lost’ - well that was a surprise!
So I followed it back to a teenage part who had been bullied by some friends playing a ‘game’ and then gaslighting her - refusing to accept responsibility or accountability for what they had done.
This demonstrates another complexity of reclaiming the parts of our shadows … for though the Inner Child work had been done with the originating pattern, this teenage part was a variation, a branch, of the original childhood theme - she had attempted to stand up for herself, but had found herself put in a catch 22 situation by friends. So though the origin may have been resolved, there was an isolated pocket needing reclamation ( and maybe there are more yet to be discovered), -
which by the inner Child completing her process with boundaries enabled this teenager self to be seen and witnessed.
As the adult I could bring the understanding that, in some seemingly impossible situations, what you can do is change your perspective so as to not give your power away.
As I continued to find the alchemy for this inner conversation - a Sloth emerged as an ally - how wonderful. Though the sloths vision is poor, this slow moving creature has a wide visual field, great memory and acute sense of smell. And so the sloth takes his time to observe and process, moving with gratitude and generosity of spirit.
Sloths are a moving ecosystem and carry much nourishment for other species, as well as medicine to counter any toxicity - and then surprisingly they strike - more surprising because they don’t look dangerous.
Finally returning to my work and aligning with the slowest, yet most observant part of my self - this sloth medicine - I glided through my work … and because of that got more done! Grateful for the Medicine of Shadow.
If this resonates and you feel that you would like some support, take a look at the Alchemy work I offer - the link is in the bio
with much Love,
from my Heart to yours,