Becoming a Storyteller
In my work I often talk about how our greatest woundings can lead us on a path into our greatest gifts. This is Alchemy. This is the gold at the end of the rainbow …
I wrote yesterday about becoming a Living Book, but my journey into that has been about becoming a storyteller first. A few years ago, when one of my much respected teachers told me this was the path I was on - I laughed ! They then pointed out that the funding applications I was writing at the time were a form of storytelling … Admittedly I wrote - a lot! - but it had always been for my own pleasure and benefit … but as a verbal expression, it felt incredulous … and yet, and yet, somewhere deep within I knew it was true.
As a child I was often so painfully shy I couldn’t talk at all. I wouldn’t just clam up, I would go into such an intense physical reaction, I couldn’t even get the words out even if I tried. Not realising at the time that this was triggering a trauma response. Trying to be heard, having a voice was traumatising and so I withdrew.
Over the years I taught myself different techniques to compensate. I have 4 planets in a Virgo stellium after all, which was a blessing to draw on to create supportive structures for myself. I would find ways to say as much as possible in as few words as possible. In turn this created strong reactions from people, as my words catapulted concentrated truth and folk either found my words funny or triggering. But it was my first doorway out of that cave.
I have spent the rest of my lifetime so far expanding on this, reviewing my own progress - constantly putting myself in situations exposing myself and where I would be thrown back into the depths again … only to learn to swim in a new way. Several years ago I finally uncovered the root trauma - and it was my mother closing me down and not allowing me to talk about an attempted molesting when I was 6 - I had embarressed her and triggered her own mother wounding. The beauty of remembering this was that not only did the masculine protect me at the time, but I discovered before this I was a chatty child !
When I was working with Sacred Earth Essence Yarrow, he showed me how we step through a gateway of having healed enough to start recognising our gifts and engaging more fully in our healing as we start to draw in the gifts and really see the rewards and benefits of our path.
Our vulnerabilities truly start to become our strengths. The journey then starts to become exciting. A year or two ago, I felt as if a veil had lifted and I could just open my mouth and let the words flow out. This was not only a revelation for me, but essential for my work in the world …
And yet - I would not be able to express myself the way I do without having walked this path that way. And this is a substantial part of my Medicine.
This is a time for many of us to be bringing our Medicine out into the world?
Do you know yours?
Do you recognise it and see it unfolding?
With much love,
from my Heart, to yours
~ Tania Aurora White Crow ~