At the Edges of Things: Breaking Cycles to see the Pattern.

I see the Wild, and Nature, as a mirror, a messenger and teacher, another form of clair channel that I call the World channel. And I love sharing the parallels through all my work - sometimes as a cryptic one liner, though today I have much more to say …

Mushrooms reproduce from mycelium and/or spores - it’s the longevity of their food source which indicates which they rely on more.

Mushrooms whose mycelium interconnect with trees have less need for producing fruiting bodies for spores and may spread quite happily for miles only producing fruiting bodies when under threat or meeting an edge where they can’t travel any further. These edges may be the edge of the forest, a river bank, a road … and this is where they fruit, where they mature, so as to release the spores to be carried by the wind or animals, to start a new mycelia colony across the edge … And yet at these edges they appear to flourish, not panic.

I remember mapping my foraging patches and wondering what the missing link was - how did they get across the rocks and the mountains? And then suddenly realising it was the deer who carried them across. 

So what can we learn from this strategy?

I’ve written in the past about the double bind, where someone is deliberately (even if there is an unconscious driver) placed in a seemingly impossible situation - the way out is creativity, a rising above the mindset, the edges, that creates the double bind.

Though, especially when this happens in childhood, when it comes from a parent or authority who also meets our needs for survival - this level of creativity can be severely suppressed.

So when as adults we start to take responsibility for our healing and growth and we meet those edges again - how do we get across? How do we find the energy to fruit and cast our spores across to start something new? This is Alchemy - to learn how to use the nourishment that exists in the decay of the old at the edge, to propel us over it.

Breaking down the existing, obsolete material to feed the creative force - to find the way over. We have existed within edges, been limited by them, stayed safe within them … And on our journey questioning past limitations - we will continue to encounter them.

How do you approach them? With fear or curiosity? This isn’t a judgement - for fear itself is an edge - an edge within - that contains much nourishment within it’s decomposing. These edges of our belief systems implicitly contain invitations to explore our inner landscapes and alchemise that fear into curiosity … you got triggered? Great! That means you have some material to unpack and compost.

Sure jumping over an edge prematurely can mean retraumatising ourselves or consolidating the old beliefs - ‘ see that didn’t work’! - possibly as a form of self-sabotage. There is a need to spend some time unpacking - like the mycelium producing fruiting bodies - to see what’s there. They gather, colonise, whisper amongst themselves - strategise … What are the qualities we need to seed the new mycelium across the edge ? What do we take with us? And what do we leave behind  - allow to decay into the compost that enables our propulsion?! But at some point we need to stop with the analysis and just do it - jump.

Maybe you already know?

Maybe you need some help to push out of that cycle so you can see the patterns limiting you?

This is what I do, it is my life pattern … I have dedicated my life to breaking cycles and pushing myself out of places that limited me - initially it was instinctual - I just knew I had to do it to learn the most from my life - despite my shyness, I was curious and hated to be contained.

Over the years I found that I understood myself better by being in a different context, climate, culture and how I could then change what those limiting patterns needed to survive. And yet I did this with an innate sense of caution and calculated risk taking (I have a Virgo stellium) - that counterbalanced the need to break cycles - so I was never reckless to the extent of retraumatising myself … it was this deep curiosity about the way of the world and the human condition that led me to study Astrology, Psychology, Massage Therapy - to find an explanation for the solutions that were so instinctual for me … and then through training in Buddhism, Mindfulness, Process work, Shamanism and so much more, to be able to support others with understanding the frameworks and finding strategies …

So if you’re ready to break the cycle to see the pattern - I may be the guide for you.

with much Love,
from my Heart
to yours,

Tania Aurora White Crow